If I were more creative, this would be a very clever and/or witty joke!

And this would be an unnecesssary explanation of said clever and/or witty joke!

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Cedar Point: An Unfocused Recap in A Minor
Yep! That was Monday. Definitely one of the most interesting days I've had in a long time. When it was fun, it was really fun. When it wasn't, it was torture!

I haven't actually been on a roller coaster since I was 6, so Disaster Transport honestly kinda scared the crap out of me. Whereas my final proper ride of the day was in the front seat of the Top Thrill Dragster, which somehow scared me less by that point! My only other two coasters of the day were Iron Dragon and Gemini (a physically painful ride, wood clearly has no place in the roller coaster world anymore), which were both also more terrifying to me than the Dragster! I suppose it was that nagging thought that "it only gets worse from here" that freaked me out on the first three rides, which obviously I did not have on the Dragster. And if I can do it, you can do it too! It's only seventeen seconds. You can endure anything for seventeen seconds. Go do it! Now!

Yes, I realize, that's not many rides. Well, while I did also partake of Cedar Downs, and some water ride, and the bumper cars, an even larger chunk of my day was spent blindly wandering around, sans cell phone, nearly collapsing from a blood sugar crash (side note: the four-dollar white chocolate macadamia nut cookies are also quite tasty!), and having Jim bordering on hyperventilation. Always nice to go places with groups that don't really give a shit. :\

And perhaps that's the nagging thought that ruined so much of the day for me, the realization that we were pretty much the least important people to the rest of this group. We don't enjoy aimless rap/metal songs whose only lyrical content is smoking weed, and fucking*; this is why we are literally the only people who are not allowed to request the volume turned down, or perhaps to play our own music. (Oh, "The Salmon Dance", thank you for providing me a brief moment of respite, by being about fish, who thankfully don't smoke weed or fuck at all, ever, for it is physically impossible!)

*Not topics that automatically mean something is irredeemable. Just, when combined with songwriters with literally no artistic talent...

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Fish can't smoke weed or fuck? Sir, you have not been to the internet enough.

- Ray-O

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